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Dear comrades…

I have received feedback that many people do not and could not understand what Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said at the NUS Ministerial Forum on Tuesday. Some were upset and some simply were confused. I have gone through the 2-hours worth of recording (by a secret friend whom I secretly planted in the audience that night) and here I will try and paraphrase entirely what PM Lee tried to say.

Dear comrades,

A two-party system cannot work for Singapore. We, the greatest, most honest and most capable party on the face on the face of this earth, and indeed in all of human history, east, west, north and south, knows what’s best for you.

The opposition parties do not.

We are so good that even China, that great great country, emulates our political system! When a communist country copies you, that tells you something, doesn’t it? SO, please. If you believe in the greater good of this our homeland, join us! make us better! We come to serve and not to be served, comrades!

Lets together run the next lap! Lets together take the great leap forward!

But we can’t do it if you vote for the opposition!

We have all the talents. Anyone who says they also have talents is suspect and is a liar because we alone – and alone – have all the talent.

Anyone who claims to be talented but is not wearing white, don’t believe him!

Because we and we alone have all the talent!

And why wouldn’t talented people join us – we have everything for them. We pay them highly obscene salaries. We make it easy for them to ‘win’ through the GRC. We control the media so only good things are said about them. Do you believe everything you read in the Straits Times? You should because it has won many awards! And Singaporeans keep buying the paper too. Why would they buy it if it didn’t always tell the truth?

It is easy to be a PAP MP or minister.

This is why talented people will only join the great White Party!

The opposition do not have talent.

Only we have the talent.

We tried to listen to Singaporeans’ desire to have a two-party system and thought of splitting the PAP into two. It was a great idea which requires great sacrifices on our part. But we wanted to do it because we love our great motherland and you, our comrades!

But we found that although we HAVE ALL THE TALENT, they were not enough in numbers. So, don’t be fooled by the opposition who tell you they also have talent.

WE have all the talent. Not the opposition.

They say, “Singaporeans must buy insurance in case the PAP fails.” But why buy insurance when you can help make sure the PAP doesn’t fail?!! It is such a stupid idea! Don’t be fooled by the opposition! When you are healthy, you must make sure you remain healthy! When you are healthy, you don’t keep thinking that you will fall sick and buy insurance and wait for you to fall sick!

But the PAP is not sick. In fact we are so healthy that many many countries want to copy our methods! So, we must become even healthier! We must eat organic food! And organic food can only come from clean, white and pure soil! And the PAP is this soil!

So, don’t be fooled by the opposition.

The PAP understands your concerns. The PAP is aware of your needs. The PAP has the experience to help you.

The PAP loves you!

We love you, our fellow comrades!

Vote for us and we will deliver more good years to you!

Singapore cannot afford two-party Parliament. Even China cannot afford to have this, and that’s why they’re learning from us!

Please. We love you. Vote for us.

Categories: General
  1. Zhou En Lai aka anothersingaporean
    April 7, 2011 at 10:06

    Lol, and we all, who read this 语录 of yours, love you too….

    And love you deep deep! lol….. well done and well said my friend.

  2. Please Be Careful
    April 8, 2011 at 10:06

    I know you are trying to parody but really, be careful.

  3. March 5, 2013 at 10:06

    You need to take part in a contest for one of the
    greatest sites on the web. I’m going to highly recommend this website!

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